why is it that after almost a month's vacation (wow, has it?) i still haven't done anything to save my a**? i started my break with a confident determined attitude to get a job, write those essays, be a useful tool for humanity's sake, etc., etc. ... until now, i'm nothing but a lard. i'm wasting away, as i have always been during the past years. someone tell me to wake up:

(note to self:) WAKE UP YOU DUNDERHEAD!

during the holy week (thursday), my aunt unfortunately suffered from a mild stroke and was admitted to the hospital. lucky enough, it was not so debilitating but the left portion of her body is weak (semi-paralyzed). my relatives and i (being quite "mature" now, harhar) took turns staying in the hospital to accompany her. it was a first for me, "the hospital camp"... i stayed in for a total of 4 days, 3 nights (like a hotel accommodation eh? not really -- one was on black saturday, and following week had 2 consecutive nights on my datebook)... observing the doctors / nurses / interns, assisting my aunt (food, medicine, stuff), entertaining visitors, being as useful as i can (gee whiz) and all that... i was on my toes most of the time, had little rest and sleep. though with all these there were still some creature comforts: food, books, cable tv, air conditioning (yay no sweating!)... so it wasn't really as unnerving as i initially thought. (but for some reason, i have a painfully low appetite these days, since the "camp". =p) ... my aunt's better now, but is currently undergoing rehabilitation at home to be able to regain mobility on her left... as i do visit my grandma's every summer (where she also resides), i see her almost everyday. i hope that my aunt is strong enough to get well and pray that she'll be back on her feet, ever the busybody (she even does tai chi!) very soon. =)

one serendipitous thing that happened during my final day of "camp" (i'd like to think so) was the Videoscope on Muse at Channel V. woohoo! i never thought i'd live to see that day -- it's like a once-in-a-lifetime experience! =D i'm not a regular Channel V viewer but then because of the afternoon lull (no visitors, there was nothing much to do, and there's nothing interesting on tv) i left the channel at that. i was having a conversation with my aunt when lo and behold, i heard the opening riff of "Plug in Baby"! i watched and realized that Muse was the feature on Videoscope, that show where they'd play a certain band's music videos for an hour! i was so damn happy -- i've never seen a bulk of their videos! (the only ones i've seen were "Starlight", "Unintended" and a bit of "Butterflies and Hurricanes".) so as i chatted away i was also watching Muse ... man i love them (oh Matttttt!!!)! my aunt must be wondering that time why i was bobbing my head and had a wide grin on my face. listing down what i've seen: 1) Plug in Baby, 2) New Born, 3) Time is Running Out, 4) Hysteria, 5) Butterflies and Hurricanes, 6) Sing for Absolution, 7)Starlight, 8) Supermassive Black Hole, and 9) Knights of Cydonia. my most fave video would probably be "Time is Running Out" -- maybe because Matt looked so hot there, and that crazy war freaks somehow appealed to me. next would be "Knights of Cydonia", a throwback to the spaghetti westerns with a intergalactic twist on the side. (hahaha) ... i so enjoyed watching the vids... it was like God's way of patting me on the back for being a good girl scout =p ... now if only divine intervention can make Muse appear on my living room (or stage a concert in RP perhaps...) ... who knows?

several mangled thoughts (it's past midnight and i don't feel like zzz-ing yet):

++ why is it so damn hot this summer? i know i can whine and complain about this forever, but i'm so sick of it! it's unbearable to get out of the house at the peak of morning and sweat buckets by the time you reach your destination. it's also hot staying indoors... even the air from the fans are warm! not being a man of the beach, i love pestering my mom about threats of migrating to alaska, locking myself up in the fridge, etc. =p die humidity die... how i envy our global counterparts, to them 25 degrees is already summer. well, come over here folks and have a grand time baking at 36-degree goodness! *lol*

++ nothing much to watch on tv, aside from the usual suspects. CNN is on most of the time, as well as Star Sports (for tennis), ETC / 2nd Avenue, and Discovery Travel & Living. there's the occasional matinee from HBO i'm glad to catch -- on thursday it was "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" and the next day it was "The Island" (that would insufficiently explain the Scarlett banner, i hope.) ... i'm wishing we had Star World & Star Movies because i think there's a lot more shows & movies in there. for the moment i'm beat.

++ (i know you see this coming..) tennis chat once more: the Monte Carlo Masters Series! i'm happy Fed's hanging in there, bouncing back in shape. i have a sked of RF's calendar of events and i noticed that for the next two months (since the MCMS) he'll be playing on clay courts. i'm thinking this would be his main tactic in preparation for the ultimate clay event, the Roland Garros (French Open) on May 27... i can't wait to see him slice Rafa in two, haha. =)

++ now for my 2 favorite reality shows. it's almost nearing the finale, and i'm not that excited about the Amazing Race All-Stars -- what is happening to me? now i know Phil's siding with the beauty queens (boo-hoo! but still i love Phil and fine, the (b)BQs may be the most deserving to win this) ... i have no one to actually root for this time. but who i'd like to see on that mat first, based on random reasons would be: 1) Oswald & Danny, 2) Dustin & Kandice, 3) Charla & Mirna. or you can interchange them if you want. and also, i have no favorite on American Idol yet... it's been an uneventful season so far. good they finally gave Sanjaya a rest this week... as charming as he is, i can't fathom him winning this competition because of his hair! TPTB was probably just using him to get mileage and more viewers... seeing that he was featured on all major channels (they even had a discussion on CNN!) & print media. so there are 6 left, and i prefer the ladies over the men... maybe i'd pick Jordin if she keeps getting better. oh, my sad little tv wonderland...

++ another evidence of how wasted my life is the internet usage. i've consumed more in two weeks than what i'd normally have in a month! mindlessly surfing around, downloading mp3s, answering quizzes, looking for obscure stuff... and i usually do this at night, leaving me with black circles under the eyes in the morning (hello panda!). it's my crazy remedy for wrecking my boredom, unless you can suggest something better... i've given up productivity for so long.

++ parting thoughts. on the VT massacre: horrible. it's unimaginable how one day you've got your whole life ahead of you, and then it's all wiped away by a senseless act. what if it happened right in my campus? i hope none of this ever happens again, the same with Iraq and all the senseless atrocities committed by tormented souls (who should only torment themselves and not endanger other people in the process, damn it).

++ don't you think this post is droning on and on? i'd better stop and save the others for a rainy day (if there ever was one). g'nyt! :)

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