vacation is becoming a hoot for me, even if it has just started. though i know this awkward feeling will soon pass (given my inclination to "yes! no homework!" vegetating), right now the crumminess of it still comes to hover in my mind.

after exhausting all of my mental faculties last week for the final exams, the whole thing has left me physically & emotionally drained. i've practically slept my nights off without any reservation, waking up the next morning with a recurrent headache. i've had crazy dreams the past 2 nights, one of a kindred encounter and the other a horribly possible nightmare. in my lucidity i haven't recalled dreaming for weeks until these. maybe, it's just an aftershock of all the stress i went through in the finals.

actually, i hurdled well in the exams. i studied, put up several all-nighters and made sure i remember every thing i could before they gave the papers. i daresay i fared better in all my course exams than i did in the prelims, quizzes combined. i really needed the grades because i suffered badly in the first half of the semester. i hope my efforts paid off.

but that's just three-fourths of the story. i am in tenterhooks with one course. it's no surprise, considering i was beyond satisfactory at it from the start, but for the moment i am definitely hanging in the balance. i tried my darndest to stage some kind of comeback through the exam, practically living in the library after school hours to review. i barely slept, digesting everything in, trying to understand all the techniques and theories involved. but the exam we took last saturday, the final examination, was like the last day of our lives. i never thought the exam would be this difficult. i squinted my eyes and squeezed my mind, wondering what should i do. what is my plan? i haven't any.

i hope that i did what i was supposed to, on at least half of the test. my classmates & the batch were all frantic and harrassed, complaining that the exam was really hard ~~ i prefer not talking about the rest. for now, i leave it all up to the mercy of the authority and the heavens. the next nine days would be rough, but i already accept whatever verdict fate holds for me. i've shed the last tear and i will not cry anymore. i will just have to do better the next time around.

have a great semestral break, folks.

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