Maybe I should have saved those leftover dreams

Funny, but here's that rainy day

Here's that rainy day they told me about, and

I laughed at the thought that it might turn out this way

Where is that worn-out wish that I threw aside,

After it brought my love so near

Funny how love becomes a cold rainy day

Funny, that rainy day is here...



- "Here's That Rainy Day", Chris Botti w/ Rosa Passos

it's the sixth month of the year, which could only mean two things: storm clouds and schooltime. i am not prepared to face either of them. well, the rains have started mid-May and it has left me grunting and huffing on the muddled road. i hate rains when i'm outdoors -- sucks the fun out of walking! what the buck is wrong with this country?? if it's not heat strokes and dry spells we're experiencing, it's flood fields and thundering turmoils! stupid weather :((



the other pressing issue, "Back to College", is looming over my head like an overgrown bat. i'm succumbed in a sedated stupor (meaning another wasted vacation) when lo and behold, reality hits me in the head hard telling me i have to haul my arse back to the grindhouse in less than 10 days. zomg.



my close friend / batchmate / neighbor shar and i went to school for enrolment yesterday. arriving upon the hallowed halls (and ivy walls, and ...) i couldn't help but feel a mangled mixture of emotions -- dread, anticipation, panic -- as i see the ebb and flow of crowds, buildings roaring back into my memory, fellow blockmates smiling and waving like old times, and the silent breaths that come with every step. i can't believe i'm in 3rd year already. junior; senior in succession. time flies! cliché as it may sound, it did feel like it only yesterday when i was that ignorant innocent goody-two-shoes fresh from high school, trying to take in much of university life. fast-forward two years later, i'm still that ignorant innocent goody-two-shoes from high school, albeit a little more pessimistic. nothing much has changed (not even my height) -- only the dates, the faces that float by, the curricula -- it's like i'm in this big space expedition wearing the chicken suit i've always had on. to be more exact, it seems i've only sleepwalked through the past 24 months. sure, i've had all-original mental breakdowns, new challenges faced, experiences to last a lifetime, etc., but then i still feel strangely normal. if i could quantify how different i've become since entering college, i'd say not that much. what is my problem?



maybe i'm just not making things happen. maybe.



below: the almighty term sche-dule. note to self: BE VERY AFRAID.


so, going third year... i'm still amazed at the thought of being considered as an upperclassman because for starters, i still don't act like one -- my other blockmates, while being biologically younger than me (some even differing 3 years!) think and act more maturely than i do. better learn from them ;) ... on another hand, i'm considering (for the third time) about joining our college paper (not the Varsi *faint*), so i'll have an *actual* org aside from JPIA. i've always wanted to extend my languorous journalistic flair (harhar) to 'greater' heights. the reason why i've shied away from this is commitment, which still is the main con factor. balancing schoolwork and extracurriculars was quite a bane back in high school... i don't know whether i could devote a ton of my after-school hours to it (you need a minimum of 30-40 hours per month). one silly thing is, what exactly do you do in the office when your college paper only publishes once per semester? :| still worth a try though, if i could pass their qualifying exam.



that sched above tells me i should really take a serious focus on my studies (isn't that pretty obvious?) ... no more general subjects which drains half my energy (but a real saving grace when the other stuff gets rough -- i get my highest marks in Theology *halo*). accounting's on the menu every damn day (6 big fat units each, two hours, monday to saturday, no breaks), what fun and joy! soon enough, i'll get a brain hemorrhage from too much ecstacy! =D at least we're a lot luckier than the other sections which had both ACC4 and ACC 4A&B in the same day, back-to-back. (that will surely kill me!) ... COMP3 is a bonus (or bane) for the even-numbered sections (like moi, in 2) since we'll be first ones to take it this sem, ergo the additional 3 units and 2 days of pathetic programming (no offense to comp prog addicts). the bright side of this is at least we'll be rid of it earlier than the odd-numbered sections who will follow suit in the 2nd sem... it won't add to the end-of-year requirement frustrations anymore. (i love computers, but i'd rather leave how it works to the experts, okay?) ... i'm a little curious about LAW1 -- yay we got a law subject! notwithstanding the memorizations and me imagining an old prof with a curly white wig drolling in la-la-land, i think it's bound to be a cool buffer from hellish numbers. we still have math, and i wonder why. BA's still cute, in the course list it says we're going to have "Human Behavior in Organization", and i'm open for that. FIN for Financial Management is an enigma, and an alluring one at that. at least there's no Economics... barf i hate that subject! i'm generally pleased about the course listing, though i'm still trying to block the karmic attack of having 2 accounting subjects and the fact i have to deal with them everyday. i shudder, shudder to think.



which means i'll have to gradually wipe out all the "fun" things in my life once the homework really gets rolling. i can't even imagine what Hell Week, 3rd yr version is. to make a comparison based on Dante's "Inferno": 1st year would be purgatory, 2nd year would be Level 4, 3rd year would probably be Level 7, and 4th year would undoubtedly be the bottomest pit, and on and on and on until the Final Judgment. no more 3rd season of "Lost" and all those new shows i'm sure to miss especially come August. PC/net time would be limited (i'll just probably surf at the lib so i'll be able resist the temptation at home). or if i'm hardworking enough, i could cut my slacking and start burying my nose the whole afternoon so my evenings are free. i can probably sleep earlier too. sundays would be my only 'relax' time. no more going out for movies (get a stockpile of DVDs!) and/or hanging out! total bummer... and i never saw it coming :(((



'twas the whining and crying out loud. i'm going to collide with all these head-on anyway. better get an attitude overhaul -- if i want to be a professional, might as well start being like one! :)



just got to do things with a little more passion...


3A2, HERE I COME!!!

Libellés : college

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