mardi, août 28, 2007 Y 6:25 PM
straitjackets and fugues

to begin, i've been experiencing real and imagined nightmares lately.


... the real, involving the languishing state of my life:
(to paraphrase a recent conversation with Des)
Me: so, how much have i changed since?
Des: you look like a mental patient strapped on a straitjacket. where's herschel and what have you done to her?!?!?


somewhere in the middle of our so-called typhoon-induced 'vacation' (which i wouldn't call that, because we were in the middle of prelims!), i managed to get sick with high fever, and i initially thought it was a dengue attack due to a particularly nasty insect bite i had the other day. (or may because i was 'studying' too much? lol). couple that with several gastro-intestinal pains i had last week, leaving me physiologically battered.


... the imagined meanwhile, involving vampires and bleeding organs harboring my sweet sleep. there were other episodes that only left a hollow dread after waking, not even remembering what the fuss was about. i haven't had nightmares as long as i can remember, so i found all these bothersome.


it's crazy enough when reality gets into a bind with the fanciful realms that i couldn't even choose what's nicer: live in disaster or dream in torment. this could be a sign i'm reaching new heights of depression -- but then i don't think i'm that desperate. i'm just frustrated with the way things are, about myself, right now.


I AM GOING TO FIX THIS.


===


enough of the personal turmoil (i know i'm weighing y'all down), let's escape!


i watched The Bourne Ultimatum last Sunday and it was grrrreat! attesting to that declaration, we stayed inside for nearly 5 hours and we wanted MORE! just the right amount of action and intensity. easily one of the best movies i've seen this year. (somewhere up there would be Ratatouille, and... i forgot. maybe this one.) ... i realized i have a liking for Matt Damon movies. i most especially liked The Talented Mr. Ripley, and also The Departed. and why the hell do i sympathize with tormented characters? maybe Matt's better playing that. he's eons better than Ben A., in more ways than one (where's that guy, anyway?).


~~ a belated happy 20th to lovely! ~~

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